NEWSFLASH: The first step in your child being able to self-regulate, is learning to be able to do so yourself.
We all want our children to be able to self-regulate. NEWSFLASH! The first step in your child being able to self-regulate, is you being able to do so yourself. There is very little chance your child will be able to calm down if you yourself are unanchored.
How do you regulate yourself in moments where you feel overwhelmed?
My top tip: Make a little poster and place it where you can see it when you will need it in the eye of the storm. For example, in my house, I have a poster with a sentence that reads,
“When I am overwhelmed I,
1. Take five deep breathes
2. Change my state: Change the state of my body or mind, so I may play a song and jump around or dance and sing to break free from the spin.
3. Do something you love / Connect to self-love: I know that when I meditate and do the things that I love daily, it becomes easier for me to self-regulate and stay grounded. It is like training a muscle.”
Create your own little poster and place it in your house. “When I feel overwhelmed I …”
Once you have managed to be able to regulate YOURSELF, you are able to assist your child to do so as well.
Remember, you are the biggest pendulum in the house, set the tone. Your mood and motion will reflect in your child.