Be the change YOU want to see in your child
Anger is like a volcano that lives inside our belly, and very now and then our volcano erupts.
Our volcano has three different zones of emotion:
The Blue Zone:
This is where we feel quiet and sad, and we hide our emotions from the outside world.
The Green Zone:
This is where we want to be! We feel happy, calm and comfortable.
The Red Zone:
This is our volcano erupts! We lose control and brake all our anger rules.
Explain to your child that while you are in the green zone, it is still possible to experience anger. As you get angry, you start moving up into the red zone and cause your volcano to erupt.
Teach your child that they have a choice of whether to explode into the red zone or to solve their anger in the green zone. We need to STOP, take a couple of deep breathes, calm down and stay in control of our emotions so that we can stay in the green zone.
TIP: In a time of frustration with your child, be authentic and tell them how you are feeling, “Mommy/Daddy is feeling very angry right now and feels like she/he is about to erupt. I feel it in my hands and my chest is tight. I am about to erupt, but I am choosing not to”. Take a couple of deep breathes and calm yourself down, show your child how you cope with your anger. It starts with YOU!
If you do erupt and lose your cool, that is okay. In a quiet moment explain to your child, “Mommy’s volcano erupted”, “Daddy lost control”, “I went into the red zone” and talk about how you can both remember to keep calm when you start to feel angry.