Dealing with Resistance

Are you currently struggling with resistance in your household? Is there something that is causing major frustration because you feel like you are constantly having to say, “NO”, or your child is constantly saying, “NO”?

As with all Perform & Reward tips or techniques, this one is short-lived. However, it could just be the little nudge that your child needs in order to create a new habit or pattern which will allow them to break the resistance.

Here are some steps to help break the resistance:

STEP 1: Find a shelf that is out of reach, but in clear visual range for your child.

STEP 2: Pack 10 little gifts on this shelf. These gifts should not break the bank but should be something your child really loves and wants. Find your child’s currency; what currency of exchange works for them?

STEP 3: Explain the agreement to your child. For each day that goes by without them displaying the particular resistance you’re struggling with, they will receive their little gift at the end of the day.

The idea is that by the end of 10 days of this consecutive training, the habit will be broken and they might not be interested in that particular thing anymore.

STEP 4: Set your child up for SUCCESS. Explain to your child that they have ONE warning. When you see the resistance beginning to kick in, then you can give your child a warning and say, “This is your warning. Remember we spoke about…” Talk through the agreement that you have with your child.

Key elements: 

  1. FOLLOW THROUGH! Don’t give your child the little gift if they did what they weren’t supposed to do.
  2. IT STARTS WITH YOU! Talk to your child about how YOU combat resistance in your own life.  Share your own personal challenges and struggles of resistance so that your child can see that everybody struggles with resistance which we have to learn to combat and overcome.